Sunday Morning

It happened on Sunday morning.

I was thinking about my blog (which was pretty usual for any blog owner) and about my last post.

In a straightforward manner, i should admit that i care about my blog. I care about how many people visits after i post something and how many comments i get. I care about putting nice pictures and attract people here. I care (a little) about publication. In short, I care enough to make my posts interesting so visitors would come. (I mean, what's the point of writing inspirational blog posts when no one is reading?)

I was a bit disappointed that though i have visitors, no one is commenting in my last post (it takes courage to be truthful about small disappointments). I feel like my post isn't interesting enough to make people read. The topic itself isn't that interesting, I argue with myself. Is my post really boring? (I know it sounded stupid)

Aku mendadak jadi malu sendiri. I was like, slightly embarassed i even posted something yang berbau religi gitu.

But then God do what feel makes me feels like He's sitting besides me.

It's your blog, am I right? He said.

Yeah. I answered. Shrugging.

Can I have it? He asked.

And that's when I understand.

Like what my dad said,

Most Christians would welcome God to their heart once. Once in the very beginning of their christianity. And after that, in every prayer, when somebody asked them if they want to receive God in their lives, they answered that they have done it before.

The thing is, we usually let God into our hearts and tell Him to stay in the part we call 'religion department'.

Don't, God. You don't know anything about movies and entertainment. You wouldn't like my movies and entertainment department. It's not your thing, God. We would reason when he knocks our movies department.

God! You wouldn't want to know! This is not the department for you, God. It's full of hate mails to annoying teachers and a list of ways to cheat Maths test. Please stay out. We would say when he tries to get in our school department.

God, i don't think you would like Justin Bieber's songs. This department is full of his posters and signed albums, God. No, i don't think you should come inside and renovate it. We argue when it comes to cleaning our belieber department.

That's why asking God to come to your heart ga bisa cuma sekali.

Mungkin ga literally sih terima Tuhan lagi di gereja, altar call, didoain, dicariin mentor baru, nangis-nangis. Kadang cuma nyerahin sesuatu ke Tuhan kok.

Dan balik ke blog aku,

aku lupa kalo blog ini emang udah punya Tuhan. I said i give my life. Which means complete with everything in it.

And if it's God's, why should i get embarassed posting something which should have glorified him?

It's his blog, anyway. If the posts yang dia mau aku tulis malu-maluin, well, Dia yang malu ini. If it's boring and lacks visitors, it's really his problem. If he wants more visitors, he'll make it happen anyway.

So, yeah. Since Sunday morning, 16th of January, this blog is not mine anymore.

being MADLY in love.

I seriously haven't posted in a very long time. I've had great ideas of blogposts, really. The thing is i just have it in mind and don't go on and post. Haha.

And by the way, my internet's not working these few days. (Though it works now :D )

I have this big urge to post. And i know it's worth writing.

Have you ever been so madly in love with a person that things doesn't make sense anymore and you just want to be with that person?

You went from perfectly rational to sounding like a brain-damaged alcoholic (yes, i currently love the word brain damage).

and you would rather hear that person breathing all day than go to Disneyland without them.

I have to admit i know what it feels like.

Do you know the guy called Stefanus from the bible? The one that got stoned to death for spreading God's Word?

Well he's madly in love.

He's having sooo much fun with God that he didn't really care if he'll die. He doesn't really care about the sharp stones that will kill him.

He only cares about doing special things for the one he's so in love with.

In a way, he's blinded by love.

In another way, he sees so much more.

God is just like a lover. He's not some old guy sitting in the midst of clouds, choosing to bless the nice people and make the others miserable. Or only glancing at your troubles and worries because he's too busy. No.

He is just like a lover. He wants to know what you're going through. What's hurting you and whatever your problems are. He even cares when you're struggling with sin.

He don't want to see you only once a week.

Or only for five minutes every morning.

He wants to be in your every second. And believe me, he wants to know who your crush is.

So talk to him. He's been waiting for it.

(i wanted to add a nice hearty picture but the computer, somehow, isn't completely working. Whyyyy are there so many broken things here?)