It happened on Sunday morning.
I was thinking about my blog (which was pretty usual for any blog owner) and about my last post.
In a straightforward manner, i should admit that i care about my blog. I care about how many people visits after i post something and how many comments i get. I care about putting nice pictures and attract people here. I care (a little) about publication. In short, I care enough to make my posts interesting so visitors would come. (I mean, what's the point of writing inspirational blog posts when no one is reading?)
I was a bit disappointed that though i have visitors, no one is commenting in my last post (it takes courage to be truthful about small disappointments). I feel like my post isn't interesting enough to make people read. The topic itself isn't that interesting, I argue with myself. Is my post really boring? (I know it sounded stupid)
Aku mendadak jadi malu sendiri. I was like, slightly embarassed i even posted something yang berbau religi gitu.
But then God do what feel makes me feels like He's sitting besides me.
It's your blog, am I right? He said.
Yeah. I answered. Shrugging.
Can I have it? He asked.
And that's when I understand.
Like what my dad said,
Most Christians would welcome God to their heart once. Once in the very beginning of their christianity. And after that, in every prayer, when somebody asked them if they want to receive God in their lives, they answered that they have done it before.
The thing is, we usually let God into our hearts and tell Him to stay in the part we call 'religion department'.
Don't, God. You don't know anything about movies and entertainment. You wouldn't like my movies and entertainment department. It's not your thing, God. We would reason when he knocks our movies department.
God! You wouldn't want to know! This is not the department for you, God. It's full of hate mails to annoying teachers and a list of ways to cheat Maths test. Please stay out. We would say when he tries to get in our school department.
God, i don't think you would like Justin Bieber's songs. This department is full of his posters and signed albums, God. No, i don't think you should come inside and renovate it. We argue when it comes to cleaning our belieber department.
That's why asking God to come to your heart ga bisa cuma sekali.
Mungkin ga literally sih terima Tuhan lagi di gereja, altar call, didoain, dicariin mentor baru, nangis-nangis. Kadang cuma nyerahin sesuatu ke Tuhan kok.
Dan balik ke blog aku,
aku lupa kalo blog ini emang udah punya Tuhan. I said i give my life. Which means complete with everything in it.
And if it's God's, why should i get embarassed posting something which should have glorified him?
It's his blog, anyway. If the posts yang dia mau aku tulis malu-maluin, well, Dia yang malu ini. If it's boring and lacks visitors, it's really his problem. If he wants more visitors, he'll make it happen anyway.
So, yeah. Since Sunday morning, 16th of January, this blog is not mine anymore.
