a lot of figuring myself today.
i found out that i'm this sort of person who dreams and dreams and dreams and never do anything to achieve that dream.
plainly because dreaming on is easier than getting into your feet and get things done.
and when i am working on it, it's just too easy to stop and just dream some more.
by the age of 11 i manage to dream of being one of the youngest author competing with Sri Izzati.
and by the age of 14 i manage to complete not even one chapter of my dream book.
and yes, by the age of 14 i am still dreaming of writing books. dreaming of the someday when i'll visit gramedia and smile to somebody, anybody who happen to pick my book and take it to the cashier.
it's hard but i've come to this realization that i'll just keep on dreaming of this writing-a-book thingy when i'm 87 years old, not even knowing how to make a novel's rough draft.
and i got kinda scared.
i've got myself trapped in this sweet thing called dream and even though i've tried to wake up a couple of times, i'm not trying hard enough.
i just let soft callings of dream get into my ears and dream some more.
for my whole life time.
all i've been dreaming is to write a book.
to get a short story published.
my sweetest yet dangerous dream, they never let go of me.
it surprises me though, that i'm the kind of person that needs DEADLINE.
not that i'm the kind of precise person that hands in everything on the deadline, but even when i'm late turning in for the deadline, at least i'm there.
at least i've made something and stop myself being such a dreaming fool drooling over something i could always get.
i'll make a writing schedule and deadline.
just have to get up and make a step.